Today I was inspired by recent posts written by Katie (Buddle and Squeak) and Annika (The Pineneedle Collective) on their blogs tackling the issue of cat calling and creepy men. Reading about their experiences angered me to know that such lowly derogatory behaviour is still prevalent in today's world. It also made me reflect on my personal experiences since starting my year abroad.
When I arrived here in Montpellier at the beginning of September it was hot, like really hot. My days on English beaches paled in comparison to the intensity of the French sun. Naturally shorts and T-shirt combos were a must. I found, however, that along with baring more skin came bearing the brunt of more unwanted male attention. I brushed the ogling aside and just took it as part of living in a big city and something that I would have to learn to ignore.
There are so many things wrong with the statement I just made, and I shall get back to that in just a moment.
One of the first instances of sexual harassment I experienced took place merely weeks after my initial arrival. It was a week-day, early evening, with the sun still shining in the busiest area of Montpellier: Place de la Comedie. Walking briskly to meet my friends I became aware of a presence to my left which, glancing at, I saw was a 30-something man smiling at me like I was his next meal. Deciding to ignore him I moved my legs as fast as they'd carry me; being 5ft 2ins it wasn't very fast at all.
Said man continued to walk next to me and said hello to me in French to which I replied, with the worst French accent I could muster "Pardon, je ne parle pas le francais". I thought that would be it. I thought he would leave me alone. Much to my dismay he then began talking to me in English telling me how sexy my arse was and how much he wanted to fuck me (I kid you not). I still tried to brush it aside telling him I already had a boyfriend and attempted to get away from him. He still persisted however, gesturing with his hands how big his dick was and how great it was going to be to fuck me. Spotting my friends not far off I still tried to laugh it off and bid him goodbye. It wasn't until I actually greeted my very confused friends that he went away. Even then I only think he left because one of them was male.
It absolutely sickens me when I think about it and in many ways I still cannot believe it actually happened. What's worse is a couple days later he passed me in the street, once again throwing an onslaught of cat calls and insults my way.
And yet my only reaction was to do nothing. I tried to laugh it off. Brush it aside. Not make a big deal out of it. And worst of all I accepted it. I was shocked yet it wasn't anything out of the ordinary as I had learnt to deal with it. This is where I rectify my previous statement. This behavior should not be ordinary and should not have to be learnt to deal with. This man in particular, though unfortunately among many others, felt it was his right to treat me the way he did. He saw something he desired and saw no problem with aggressively trying to obtain it. It was obvious he had no filter to determine what was inappropriate behaviour and if anything actually got a kick out of making me feel uncomfortable.
It's creeps like this that spoil men and masculinity. They need to undergo a serious attitude change needed for the necessary leap towards equality. To quote Crystal Eastman hailing from the 1920s "we must institute a revolution in the early training and education of both boys and girls". In other words, it is the attitudes of the younger generations that need to be fed with ideas of feminism in order to birth a world of equality. What is alarming is that Crystal knew this just under a 100 years ago and not much has really changed. Us feminists are still wading through custard on the path towards equality, and we're slowly getting there. However, it is the attitudes and mind sets of people that we really need to change. Once we do we can come off the custard path, but only then.
Said man continued to walk next to me and said hello to me in French to which I replied, with the worst French accent I could muster "Pardon, je ne parle pas le francais". I thought that would be it. I thought he would leave me alone. Much to my dismay he then began talking to me in English telling me how sexy my arse was and how much he wanted to fuck me (I kid you not). I still tried to brush it aside telling him I already had a boyfriend and attempted to get away from him. He still persisted however, gesturing with his hands how big his dick was and how great it was going to be to fuck me. Spotting my friends not far off I still tried to laugh it off and bid him goodbye. It wasn't until I actually greeted my very confused friends that he went away. Even then I only think he left because one of them was male.
It absolutely sickens me when I think about it and in many ways I still cannot believe it actually happened. What's worse is a couple days later he passed me in the street, once again throwing an onslaught of cat calls and insults my way.
Perfectly sums up my feelings (source)
And yet my only reaction was to do nothing. I tried to laugh it off. Brush it aside. Not make a big deal out of it. And worst of all I accepted it. I was shocked yet it wasn't anything out of the ordinary as I had learnt to deal with it. This is where I rectify my previous statement. This behavior should not be ordinary and should not have to be learnt to deal with. This man in particular, though unfortunately among many others, felt it was his right to treat me the way he did. He saw something he desired and saw no problem with aggressively trying to obtain it. It was obvious he had no filter to determine what was inappropriate behaviour and if anything actually got a kick out of making me feel uncomfortable.
It's creeps like this that spoil men and masculinity. They need to undergo a serious attitude change needed for the necessary leap towards equality. To quote Crystal Eastman hailing from the 1920s "we must institute a revolution in the early training and education of both boys and girls". In other words, it is the attitudes of the younger generations that need to be fed with ideas of feminism in order to birth a world of equality. What is alarming is that Crystal knew this just under a 100 years ago and not much has really changed. Us feminists are still wading through custard on the path towards equality, and we're slowly getting there. However, it is the attitudes and mind sets of people that we really need to change. Once we do we can come off the custard path, but only then.
